A Very Eastern Boy In A Very Western World
by Momosportif
Summary: KandaAllen ficlet; original title was In Which Kanda Encounters and Conquers Western Holidays but it wouldn't fit. Kanda likes Allen and part of Allen is his foreign culture. But can the moody Japanese get in sync with the European world? Please enjoy!


The only thing in the world that annoyed Kanda more than Allen Walker himself were his ridiculous Western holidays, but as his feelings for the aggravatingly likable Moyashi were developing (much to his further vexation), Kanda went to great lengths to adapt his cultural norm. Unfortunately, his endeavors were rarely met with success.

Christmas, the mother of all holidays, had been his first failure. Upon finding garlands and holly in the headquarters, Kanda had assumed some sanitary crisis was in course and pitched it in great arm loads out the windows. After working at this for the better part of the day, he was found by a mortified Allen who rushed him and forcibly halted his sacrilegious activity.

"Kanda! Those are Christmas decorations!"

"They're evergreen branches. They belong outside."

"No, no, no…Don't you know what Christmas is?"

"They're weeds, they belong outside."

"No, Kanda, I told you already! They're Christmas decorations."

"What the hell is Christmas?"

And so began his education of the birth of Jesus and celebrations of the winter month, complete with feasts, presents, a red-clad man who broke into;

"No, he just _goes_ into; it's his job,"

people's houses in a flying sleigh, and weeds indoors, in fact, a whole tree indoors.

"But why?"

"For Jesus!"

"Che."

"Though it's beginning to be quite commercial and mostly about the presents. Anyway, the whole point is really about being together with your family. I'm sure it's not _that_ different from one of your holidays."

"We don't put weeds indoors."

"Fine, Kanda!"

Despite his extensive introduction to Yuletide, as it was, quite confusingly, also called, Kanda failed to embrace all the odd festivities. He would not allow a wreath to be put on his door. He avoided the caroling finders and few exorcists like a disease. He stayed up late training on Christmas Eve, did not help make cookies, nor cut snowflakes. On Christmas Day, he ate not turkey and stuffing, but his regular, well-loved Soba.

"Scrooge."

"Che."

Valentine's Day went considerably worse as it was assumed he was familiar with this holiday and received no prep training.

"Valentine's Day? It's tomorrow, Yu!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know, Lavi?"

"You amaze me, Yu."

"What is it?"

"What's what?"

"Valentine's Day, of course, baka."

"The holiday of Cupid, roses, chocolate, Aphrodite, in short: the holiday of love!" Several gushy clichés and lavish hand gestures later Kanda had absorbed the untold history and present day practices of Saint Valentine's Day.

"So you make cards for your friends?"

"And significant others."

"Or get them sweet things?"

"Pretty much, but it's tomorrow so if you've got nothing… you better get to it!"

So it was that Kanda stayed up late into the early morning, surrounded in thin colored paper, fingers bending and creasing.

And created _a _(one, singular) Valentine.

Which he found to be so lovely that he decided to keep it, suspended from the ceiling above his bed.

And he had no qualms about facing his friends empty handed or receiving his own gifts. Flowers from Miranda, which he re-gifted to the cafeteria, leaving them in a vase by the serving counter, chocolate from Noise which he saved for later, a picture from Tiedoll which he glanced at before stashing in a drawer with other pictures from him, candies from Lenalee which he left in a bowl beside the flowers, a card from Lavi which he found immature and silly content-wise and so recycled, a potted plant from Krory which died after an attempted transplant outside, and a very sentimental card from Allen who was visibly upset about Kanda's lack of proper Valentine's behavior.

Kanda resolved to do better next time and to that end, researched Easter by himself quite intensely.

Come March 17, he was fully prepared for it, only to realize he'd skipped an important holiday.

"What was that for!"

"You're not wearing green…" Krory, much to his misfortune, had been the first to encounter the confused and thus thoroughly irate Kanda but fled soon after it became clear that pinching Kanda was a crime punishable by Mugen and perhaps death. He returned with a severe looking Allen moments later.

"Why'd you threaten Krory?"

"He pinched me."

"Well, of course he did."

"What do you mean 'of course he did'? It was completely unprovoked!"

"Kanda, it's Saint Patrick's Day."

Oh boy. Another saint.

Kanda grew more and more furious as Allen recounted the tale of Patrick and described the force of Irish pride and the complex system of wearing green clothes for luck and celebrating shamrocks.

"Well I'm not psychic!"

"Don't be mad! Krory's sorry! Here, take a leprechaun sticker."

"Leprechauns don't exist."

Kanda refused to wear green to punish the world for the fact that he had, being so prepared for Easter, forgotten the day of Irish cheer. Anyone in the spirit who attempted to pinch him good-naturedly became well acquainted with the threatening edge of Mugen. He avoided Cornish pasties and potatoes baked in forty different ways by fortifying himself in his room for a good part of the evening. It was very aggravating, all of the holidays with their bizarre ceremonies and he nearly despaired ever trying to straighten them out. But when he, reread Valentine in hand, opened his door to an empty hallway and small tray of food with a note in Allen's tidy scrawl admonishing 'you have to eat', he was again resolved to lesson the cultural gap between himself and his grudgingly admitted crush.

Kanda carefully explored several sources and discovered that, quite conveniently, the next holiday was soon and seemed fairly simple to take part in.

Allen also reached a resolve that coincided with the results of Kanda's though, for once, the Westerner was not prepared for his own festivities.

"Kanda?" He turned around to face Allen, quite pleased that he had shown up and, internally, possibly more excited than he'd ever been in his entire life. Allen looked rather flustered and pinkish in the face, eyes darting to and from Kanda's rapidly. "I…um…" Kanda waited, wondering if Allen too planned to execute a practice of this holiday and being careful to note if he did so. "I wanted to tell you something, Kanda." He blinked, waiting placidly. Allen began fidgeting violently with his fingers, passing his thumbs over one another repeatedly as if sincerely nervous. "I, um…I really-…I think I may have… Kanda, I like you!"

Kanda did not miss a beat.

"Che. As if I'd ever feel that way towards someone like you."

"I… I knew you'd say that… but… I just thought you ought to know… I'm sorry if it causes any inconvenience…"

"You're just one continuous inconvenience. Like I care any more or less about your feelings." Kanda glowered evenly at him and Allen, swiftly losing self-control, turned around and ran down the hallway. Kanda blinked once in confusion before realizing the gap in understanding. "Allen!" he ran after him, stopping him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Kanda, please, I understa-"

"April Fools." Allen stared at him quite bemused for several beats of silence before starting with comprehension. To Kanda's surprise he threw his arms around him and laughed, face buried in his chest.

"That's right, Kanda, Happy April Fools Day."

"I know," said Kanda, barely containing his pride in himself.

And so it was that on April 1st Kanda was able to replace his most annoying thing in the world with nosy read-heads who had no regard for privacy or discretion, as he was now a successful participant in Western culture.

And Allen was introduced to something he would never possibly be ready for: the Eastern holidays.


End file.
